With elections in the air and politicians wanting to ban everything from computers to the Lankan government in addition to the fact that I might actually vote this time, this is probably a good time for a megalomaniacal fantasy.
If ever I grew a toothbrush moustache and burnt down the parliament or senthalf the country to Siberia or become an army general and take over the government in a bloodless coup, here are the list of things I'd outlaw.
1. Couple Photos/ Marriage photos/ baby photos
Why does every single person who has been married or has a kid have to literally bury us ion an avalanche of Photos. The last thing I need to see the first thing on a monday morning is a truckload of baby photos or go through the absolutely idiotic comments that accompany them. I mean seriously, does anybody really find babies cute? They are bald, toothless and either too fat or too thin-overgrown plastic dolls only not in a nice way.
The last thing a guy needs to see after a horrible day's work after a complete butt chewing by my boss and despair art entering an empty room withnothing to lookfoprward to but an other horrid appraisal session the next day, is the photo of a total doofus cavorting in Europe with his hot, skimpily attired, readymade, takeout Bride
2. Project Parties
Is it not enough that one has to suffer through the weekday with these idiots? atleast at work you can ignore them. Having to make smalltalk with people you utterly despise is torture

3. Suits and Sherwanis in wedding receptions/Shirts with mismatched collars and cuffs/ shirts that shine or hurt your eye

For obvious reasons.

4. Email Forwards
Everyday, I get emails from some idiot who thinks that I need to know about the sheer wonder my parents are or how I if need some luck in life I need to subject a hundred more people to the same torture or how cellphone causes brain damage or how the Lankan Tamils need my help. Seriously, obnoxious forwarder, get a freaking life. I have neither the time nor the patience to go through that crap. Nor do I care a damn abou anything but myself and the last thing I need after spending most of my day on the phone and a ready to eat meal on the microwave oven is to read that microwaves cause brain tumor.

5. Chick Lit/ Chick Flicks/ Chick everything
Alright, ideally everyone should be allowed to read / watch what they like. I'm the last person who sympathizes with censorship. Still, so much money, space- both on bookshelves and publications and effort goes in to this industry of mass produced brain squelcher that.... and the women who read these idiotic pieces of trash.... You know... reading has always been overhyped. Often, one hears people saying they cant live without books. Wow, you think. This lady must be something. You then proceed to talk about....you know... Pynchon and Nabokov.. just to show off.... "Oh", the lady says, "I don't read thrillers except Sydney Sheldon and John Grisham". Then she goes on to confess with not a little pride that She simply "lurves" the Arab prince trilogy or titles like "Stars fall down", "Sun goes up" and "The moon stays still" forming the "Celestial Bodies" trilogy! Insipid fantasies that are endless variations of the same friggin fairy tale.

6. Reality Shows/ Dance shows/ Talent shows.

First of all they all have horrible people in them. Second they showcase the worst in people and thirdly the last thing they are is real. What's with the judges, anyway? why are they sucjh idiots? the people cheering?

7. Talk shows
Talk shows in India are bad because Indians can't have an argument without being personal. Also, they can't articulate very well. Also, the shows are generally are pretty banal, pointless and uninformative with just people wanting to be heard. All arguments degenerate in to chaos in ten minutes.

8. Autorikshaws in Chennai
They are vulgar, dishonest and are a menace on the road. The shared autorikshaws are even worse. The best way around these guys is taking them out of the road, improving public transportation and find employment fot them in the Financial industry. One more crook in legions of crooks is not going to matter.

9. Timesheets

While one has to appreciate the creative exercise timesheets affords, one has to think about ones' soul as well.The wasted time and effort also make it a huge drag.

10. Karan Johar, Ekta kapoor, TV serials, Rakhi Sawant, Shah Rukh Khan, Salman Khan, Amir Khan, The Bachchan Family, Bollywood, Kollywood, Udit Narayanan singing in Tamil, Shreya Ghoshal in Tamil, SPB singing in Hindi, Bans on smoking, Bans on Coke, Censorship, Shiv Sena, BJP, Congress, Deve Gowda, Deepak Chopra,Vivekananda,SriSri Ravishankar, Yoga, The word "Junk Food", Test and Oneday Cricket, Hockey, Hindi commentry, Regional Language news, Himesh Reshamaiiya, Salman Rushdie, Arundathi Rai, Shoba De and so on

Basically coz they are vulgar and irritating

Hmmm

Yeah, I know..... its been some time.. and I've had no inclination to post anything....
I'm playing "The Flower of Carnage" for the tenth time today! Lyrics Here! This is one great album. As a matter of fact, I downloaded the soundtracks of Kill Bill(Both Volumes), Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction.

Other songs that have been playing over and over on my ipod are- Pink Moon and It's a Mad world! Ain't Gonna Lose you isn't too shabby either.

Dylan is coming up with his next album! I started listening to some of his archived radio shows the other day. I don't know what to make of the songs. Would it be blasphemy if I said I didn't care about any of them? To be completely truthful, I'd rather listen to Bobby Dylan singing! Dylan is not a great host either. Perfunctory

Did I tell you I'm having a second crack at Gaddis' "The Recognitions"? I love the challenge the book affords. Although, it really wears you down after a while. Anyway, hopefully I will finish it this time. 300 down 500 more pages to go!

Meanwhile, I did try to distract myself with Fantasy viz Sean Russell.(Insert appropriate cocktail metaphor, here) Anyway, it was a bad idea. So there......

I managed to catch "The Watchmen" a couple of weeks back. It was long winded but faithful to the original. With all due respect to Moore, my hair doesn't stand on its end when I hear anything about the comic... It is self important preachy and long winded. Not a bad thing in itself. But, it takes itself so seriously that it just didn't do it for me. In fact, the best portions in the comic, in my opinion, were the interludes featuring the Black Freighter and that was cut off from the movie... I didn't like the Killing Joke and never finished From Hell. I loved V for Vendetta, though. Don't tell anyone, but, I liked that movie! In fact the scene in which Evie is released from prison by V and she walks to the balcony where it is raining and lifts her arms in pure joy, gives me a lump in my throat every time I see it!

Anyway that's that for now! I will come up with something next week!

Lyrics | Bob Dylan Lyrics | I & I Lyrics

I just heard this song and had to share it with someone... So, whoever you are, who tripped in to this blog by accident, listen to this one, I'm sure you'll like it... Even if you aren't a Dylan fan....

Where Hari spouts absolute Nonsense

The recent expose by Fox News( or The Sun Or Zoom... whichever is the most inane source of useless news where you live) that my Blog title section has been hijacked should come as no surprise to regular readers(Ahem..... Well, hey, at least their number is certainly more than the number of people who sat through "The Reader") of my blog! For those of you who were wondering about the dramatic reduction in the number of articles(Yeah, I know....) after mid February..... I'm glad you noticed. I've had loads of work to do... <<>> ... und,so.... Anyway, what have I been doing apart from letting the flower of my Youth grow pale, spectre thin and die in front of the Monitor?

- I'm a big Fan of Anime these days. After careful research, I found out that Akira, Princess Mononoke, Spirted away and Samurai X were supposed to be the classics. So, I torrented them. The gore was putting off at first, but, the depth of the Narrative, the aesthetic in every frame, the well drawn characters and the fabulous plots totally puts Dreamworks and (dare I say it?) Pixar to shame. The next big movie that I'm planning to watch is Ghost in the Shell(I'm planning to stay away from the more popular Cowboy Bebop, Naruto and Pokemon)

- On the books front, things haven't been very encouraging. The motivation to tackle a complex(?) narrative like 2666 after a grinding day at office is simply not there. So, I've been cheating. I read all three books that form The First Law trilogy, last week. The books were pretty well written and fascinating. The only problem is that by the time you come to the third part you pretty much know what to expect. But then, no one really looks for originality in Fantasy. So, you make do with what you've got.
I also managed to lay my filthy little hands on Joe Delaney's "Wardstone Chronicles". This should be the series you read after you read HP and the Deathly Hallows. The series is targeted more at a YA audience( Say 15 and up) than the teen audience that at least the early HP books seem to cater to.
I hear that the new R. Scott Bakker is out. That is going to be a definite buy! While I loved the first two parts of the Thousandfold thought, the Third one was so-so at best!
For those of you who were wondering, yes, Fantasy is my guilty pleasure! My version of M&B or Danielle Steele if you will! While emotionally fulfilling, I suppose you cannot have just pastries for Lunch(Yes, I'm looking at you Dhivya!) So, after Bolano, the next foray in to serious stuff is going to be either Victor Pelevin or David Markson

- As for movies, well..... I've not been watching too many... Did I mention sometime that I finally saw "The Maltese Falcon" and "The Big Sleep"? While I definitely enjoyed the latter, the former is a true classic. I'm officially on the "I heart Bogie" Bandwagon! I can't bring myself to watch 'Dev D'. I just want to watch frothy, funny movies that doesn't tax my patience in anyway.

-Music? The Band that I've started listening to(Which basically means that I've torrented the complete Discography) is the Decemberists. I love the Mariner's Revenge Song(Supposed to be Picaresque), which to me at least seems to be a pastiche of the tavern songs that I reckon were popular before mass media ruined it for us.

- I've diligently set about cooking..... well, at least thrice a week. Thanks to my relative lack of expertise, I've had to stick to easy to cook, simple (read Natural, so called healthy and not much fun) stuff. Thanks to the fact that my Roomie is a Health freak, I eat healthy most days. The dinner is normally either Dal or a simple curry with little or no Oil. We normally take it with Chapattis that we make (without oil again). We have the same food on the next day for Lunch as well!. So this is probably the healthiest I've eaten since I left home in 2003- Half a Decade ago!

- I might go back to India on April 1st. But, as usual, I wont know until a week before I have to leave. I suppose it is good in a way. But,well, whatever..... Despite my recent claims, I am a little tired of switching places every other month. Maybe, its time I settled down in one place (As in rent a house on my place, buy a car and stay there for a couple of years. For Heaven's sake, why has settling down become synonymous with Marriage?)

Where hari is back with another useless Post

This is a visual rendering of the words that I use. most of the common English words were not taken in to consideration. The results are not surprising, are they? Remember, never, just and Now being the most frrequently used words... mmmm....

Where "Long winded" Hari thinks he is Jean-Paul Sartre!

I don't remember clearly how I used to wake up in Ranipet. Perhaps I felt my shoulder shaken roughly or amma's voice pleading me to wake up and trying to convince me that the sun was up(Like it had to do anything) and that I was late as usual. Or, it could have been the loud music that was played in our house. It was Swami Haridas Giri on bad days. Not that I hated Swami Haridas or anything, infact, I always thought he was rather cute(I thought he was singing of "Poori and Kuruma" half the time ). But, he was not a very accomplished singer and tended to shout quite a bit. On other days, it was either M.S. or Old Tamil songs or some incomprehensible devotional album. But, some days, at least early on, amma or appa would have Chitra's and Yesudas' albums on Krishna on. I still remember how much I used to enjoy Chitra singing "Theeradha Vilayattu Pillai" or Yesudas' "Guru Kripa Anjana".

Not that it made any difference to my mood, anyway. I guess I was a pretty grumpy child and mornings were never a favourite time of the day. But, amma would have none of that. In her endeavour to make better people of us, she insisted that my Brother and I attend a series of self improvement courses, from Music and Hindi to Karate and Computers. Although, I eventually managed to thwart all of her ambitions for me, there was a period when I had no choice but to attend these life draining classes. The worst of them all was Yoga. We had to get up at 5 am every day and walk to the local temple when it was still dark, where one of the priests there would instruct me on the different Postures. I remember how I used to walk the half a Kilometer in the fog with a blanket wrapped around to ward off the cold, scared to death of the stray dogs which used to trail us all the way. They seemed to have the notion that I was responsible for their misery and barked at me till I reached the temple.

Adiparashakthi or Amman, as folks affectionately refer to her, was housed those days in a rectangular cement hut with three entrances, two on the longer sides and one on one of the shorter side.... Well, there was no wall on that side and a path led from the temple to the Priest's living quarters. On the opposite side we had the sanctum sanctorum. I cannot remember the idol itself now, I only remember yellow light, perhaps from a bulb inside the alcove that formed the sanctum sanctorum. Behind the enclosure was the mandatory Snake Hill. Thankfully, though I've never seen a snake there. The priest-Shakthi, we called him, used to ring a bell in time with his prayers in the morning and evening. Maybe the snakes just couldn't stand the din and migrated.

Anyway, we reached the temple by five fifteen and began our Yoga. Since Shakthi was a busy man and had to complete a lot of chores in the morning, he would greet us warmly and request us to start with the Yoga and pretty much leave my brother and yours truly to our own devices. Badri initially used to faithfully try out the different poses.Me? Let's just say that I don't respond very well to attempts aimed at getting me out of the bed earlier than I want to. I would first catch a nap sitting down and pretending to meditate. Then, I would lie down on the blanket and practice shavasana, which basically involved just lying down and relaxing. Of which, obviously, I was an expert! Then I would do Sarvangasana, which was basically lying down with your feet in the air, and catch another snooze. Shakthi would have known that I never did anything. But the nice man that he was, he knew that he couldn't shove Yoga down my throat nor did he have the heart to complain to mom. Badri soon began following my example and started cheating too. Then I began malingering which led to mom realizing that I was never going to be a Deepak Chopra or a Maharishi Mahesh Yogi and resigned herself to making me a Hindi Pundit. The way I foiled that is probably a story for another day.

For years afterwards Shakthi would stop me on the road and inquire if I was practising my Yoga knowing very well that I didn't bother to and would exhort me to take care of my body. I could sense his disappointment with me and started avoiding the roads leading to and from the temple. He just didn't realize that I was the type who was fated to contract everything from Diabetes to Ulcer to Blood Pressure to Cholesterol by the time I reach my thirties. Or, may be he did and just couldn't let go. He actually gave a damn about the overweight, stubborn, disrespectful, lazy bum that I was (and am). I heard one day that his health was failing and on another that he'd passed on. I never went to the temple after that nor did I ever spare a thought for that man in all the self absorbed search for instant gratification that has characterized my teens and most of my twenties.

When I try to remember him now, I see a dark, wiry man. Neither too tall or short. He was cleanshaven, with a wide mouth and a peaceful expression. He was fairly young. Perhaps in his mid thirties when he died. When he was in the temple, he would wear just the red veshti that all the priests of the goddess are supposed to wear, with his chest bare. Whenever I met him outside, he'd be clad in a white veshti and a white shirt of a simple tamil everyman riding a bicycle. For all this, I realize, I don't remember him at all. I cannot picture his face. He has faded away. Soon, no one will remember him.

It's only when I try to remember the long forgotten details about Shakthi that I realize my own Mortality. Death, not the anthropomorphic figure with a serious lack of Fashion-sense, but in the world carrying on as if I never existed and I suddenly feel a giant emptiness in my stomach. I sense my own insignificance and it scares me, funnily enough, halfway to death. I can see it looming ahead and every breath is only carrying me closer and closer to the inevitable. I realize that the hopelessness of all my actions and its consequences. However, I also realize that there is salvation, a reprieve, albeit momentary- memory. Death would not be so complete or so final if some one somewhere remembered me for a moment like I now remember Shakthi. That is all I can spare. That is all I can ask for!

Where Hari tries to show off and as usual doesn't quite pull it off

For obvious reasons, the weekend is the the best part of the week for me. I try to do as many things that I enjoy, as possible. Usually I just sleep and eat a lot. But there are some weekends that truly are wonderful. I knew this was going to be a great weekend when I woke up on Friday with the sun streaming down through my bedroom window. In a nutshell, this weekend kicked ass because

1. I felt as if a great weight was lifted off my shoulders when I confronted the powers that be and blurted out that it might be a good idea to wait until late 2010 and my proposal was accepted. I did not even know I was nervous about the whole thing and was quite surprised at the amount of relief I felt(Especially because I took the initiative when I created the whole profile thingey!(Dont Ask)). Bullet dodged. Atleast for the present. Now, all I have to do is hold of for two more years. It won't matter after that. Nothing will.

2. I discovered a whole genre of music, that I'd never known about. Thanks to Fleet Foxes and by extension Metacritic, I discovered alternate pop/rock. I've been listening to My Morning Jacket and Radiohead all weekend. I've also been listening to Bon Iver, animal collective, Duffy and Adele

3. I spent less than 4 hours watching TV the whole weekend

4. I love "Panera Bread". It's a fabulous place. For a change a lot of light is allowed to stream inside an eating joint and it as a consequence doesn't feel as seedy or claustrophobia inducing as some of the other Restaurants(Read Indian) in this place. Besides, the food is yummy and apart from a slight twinge about the Mountain Dew, I usually come out feeling guilt free(The calorie Count has slowed. yay!). Also the people there are so nice(The hot Girl(Yeah, I objectify women. Try staying celebate for 14 years and then judge me!)taking the order definitely contributes to the general feeling of well being)

5. Had dinner on sunday at Cheeburger

6. Made upma on Saturday night. I seem to be improving every day. I'm a fairly competent cook these days. Who knows, I might even make a round chappati one of these days

7. Saw Villu. It was nice to see that the Second Law of Thermodynamics(Read Time's Arrow & Entropy- Entropy(disorder) always increases with time and it never goes down in a closed system? Hope I didn't botch the reference!) applies to Kollywood. It just keeps getting worse

8. Spent a lot of time with Bolano on Saturday and read L.E. Modesitt Jr. (Fantasy) on Sunday. It was like being married to Ingrid Bergman and seeing Liz Taylor on the side. Now, I know what it must be like when you're Brad Pitt

9. Any Friday with pizza for dinner has to point to a Great weekend!

10. Wished my thatha on his Tamil Birthday on Sunday and he could actually hear me.

Where Hari goes on about stuff no one else gives a damn about!

I see myself as being on an exile. Not that I'm suffering or anything, but, purely in terms of being away from home and not being able to return when I wanted. So when I was reading about a book that I am reading now, I found this excerpt, which got lost in all the dross distractions that I cannot get out of my head these days when I am actually reading the book. Anyway, I never understand Bolano completely, and I can discern new shades of meaning every time I read this passage. Why is exile a natural movement? Why does he say abolish fate when most exiles simply postpone Fate.Why do skips and breaks recur when they should in fact be neverending. Curiouser and curiouser!

"Exile must be a terrible thing," said Norton sympathetically.
"Actually," said Amalfitano, "now I see it as a natural movement, something that, in its way, helps to abolish fate, or what is generally thought of as fate."

"But exile," said Pelletier," is full of inconveniences of skips and breaks that essentially keep recurring and interfere with anything you try to do that's important."

"That's just what I mean by abolishing fate," said Amalfitano.
-2666, Roberto Bolano

More gems on Raising Sand

I'm listening to Raising Sand as I work and I had to blog the lyrics to Killin' the blues. It's Beautiful, illa?

Killin' the Blues
Leaves were falling ..Just like embers
In colors red and gold they set us on fire
Burning just like a moonbeam ..in our eyes

Chorus:
Somebody said they saw me
Swinging the world by the tail
Bouncing over a white cloud.
Killing the Blues

I am guilty of something
I hope you never do because there is nothing
Sadder than losing .. yourself in love

Repeat Chorus:

Repeat Chorus:

Now, you ask me Just to leave you
To go out on my own and get what I need to
You want me to find ..what I've already had

Repeat Chorus:

Repeat Chorus:

Repeat Chorus:

Repeat Chorus:

Top Ten reasons why my bedroom is a sty

Alright, in the first flush of excitement that came with my new camera, I took pictures in and around the house and uploaded it on Picasa. Later that day on one of my daily conversations, I handheld mom to Picasa and showed her the Pictures. For about five minutes there was no response. The first thing that she said after repeated probes for a comment, was in a voice dripping with disapproval,"You guys, don't clean the room ever, do you?"I was speechless for about a microsecond and blithely changed the topic. I've always been bit of a pig and well, nothing has changed in the last 27 years.When I was pretending to work this morning, I had a brainwave, if I were not so alacrious(oh yeah baby, the word exists! Hallelujah) with conversational u-turns, how would I justify the fact that my bed was such a mess? I came up with ten reasonably good excuses.
1. Why do I have to make up my bed when I am going to disturb it in about 14 hours anyway?
2. If a cluttered desk is indicative of a cluttered mind, imagine what state of mind would a cluttered room indicate! Now can you even begin to comprehend the sheer genius a mind, that operates the way I do, should possess to look and act normal!
3. Sometimes I get carried away when I'm listening to music!
4. Huh????? I know how this happened! It must've been Nixon's men again!
5. I've got an image to maintain. What would people who knew me growing up think if I suddenly turned a new leaf? I couldn't disappoint them!
6. Why should I spend half an hour cleaning the room when I could be doing something more fun!
7. Mom, right now I'm in a state of catatonic Existential Angst. You should be supporting me. Not nag me to death! sheeesh
8. It's not as if I have a full social calendar and people are trooping in to the room every second. Even I dont go to my bedroom most days. Why bother?
9. Mom, it's not cluttered, I keep my room in a state of practiced disregard. It's performance art
10. Mom, I see dead people!