With elections in the air and politicians wanting to ban everything from computers to the Lankan government in addition to the fact that I might actually vote this time, this is probably a good time for a megalomaniacal fantasy.
If ever I grew a toothbrush moustache and burnt down the parliament or senthalf the country to Siberia or become an army general and take over the government in a bloodless coup, here are the list of things I'd outlaw.
1. Couple Photos/ Marriage photos/ baby photos
Why does every single person who has been married or has a kid have to literally bury us ion an avalanche of Photos. The last thing I need to see the first thing on a monday morning is a truckload of baby photos or go through the absolutely idiotic comments that accompany them. I mean seriously, does anybody really find babies cute? They are bald, toothless and either too fat or too thin-overgrown plastic dolls only not in a nice way.
The last thing a guy needs to see after a horrible day's work after a complete butt chewing by my boss and despair art entering an empty room withnothing to lookfoprward to but an other horrid appraisal session the next day, is the photo of a total doofus cavorting in Europe with his hot, skimpily attired, readymade, takeout Bride
2. Project Parties
Is it not enough that one has to suffer through the weekday with these idiots? atleast at work you can ignore them. Having to make smalltalk with people you utterly despise is torture

3. Suits and Sherwanis in wedding receptions/Shirts with mismatched collars and cuffs/ shirts that shine or hurt your eye

For obvious reasons.

4. Email Forwards
Everyday, I get emails from some idiot who thinks that I need to know about the sheer wonder my parents are or how I if need some luck in life I need to subject a hundred more people to the same torture or how cellphone causes brain damage or how the Lankan Tamils need my help. Seriously, obnoxious forwarder, get a freaking life. I have neither the time nor the patience to go through that crap. Nor do I care a damn abou anything but myself and the last thing I need after spending most of my day on the phone and a ready to eat meal on the microwave oven is to read that microwaves cause brain tumor.

5. Chick Lit/ Chick Flicks/ Chick everything
Alright, ideally everyone should be allowed to read / watch what they like. I'm the last person who sympathizes with censorship. Still, so much money, space- both on bookshelves and publications and effort goes in to this industry of mass produced brain squelcher that.... and the women who read these idiotic pieces of trash.... You know... reading has always been overhyped. Often, one hears people saying they cant live without books. Wow, you think. This lady must be something. You then proceed to talk about....you know... Pynchon and Nabokov.. just to show off.... "Oh", the lady says, "I don't read thrillers except Sydney Sheldon and John Grisham". Then she goes on to confess with not a little pride that She simply "lurves" the Arab prince trilogy or titles like "Stars fall down", "Sun goes up" and "The moon stays still" forming the "Celestial Bodies" trilogy! Insipid fantasies that are endless variations of the same friggin fairy tale.

6. Reality Shows/ Dance shows/ Talent shows.

First of all they all have horrible people in them. Second they showcase the worst in people and thirdly the last thing they are is real. What's with the judges, anyway? why are they sucjh idiots? the people cheering?

7. Talk shows
Talk shows in India are bad because Indians can't have an argument without being personal. Also, they can't articulate very well. Also, the shows are generally are pretty banal, pointless and uninformative with just people wanting to be heard. All arguments degenerate in to chaos in ten minutes.

8. Autorikshaws in Chennai
They are vulgar, dishonest and are a menace on the road. The shared autorikshaws are even worse. The best way around these guys is taking them out of the road, improving public transportation and find employment fot them in the Financial industry. One more crook in legions of crooks is not going to matter.

9. Timesheets

While one has to appreciate the creative exercise timesheets affords, one has to think about ones' soul as well.The wasted time and effort also make it a huge drag.

10. Karan Johar, Ekta kapoor, TV serials, Rakhi Sawant, Shah Rukh Khan, Salman Khan, Amir Khan, The Bachchan Family, Bollywood, Kollywood, Udit Narayanan singing in Tamil, Shreya Ghoshal in Tamil, SPB singing in Hindi, Bans on smoking, Bans on Coke, Censorship, Shiv Sena, BJP, Congress, Deve Gowda, Deepak Chopra,Vivekananda,SriSri Ravishankar, Yoga, The word "Junk Food", Test and Oneday Cricket, Hockey, Hindi commentry, Regional Language news, Himesh Reshamaiiya, Salman Rushdie, Arundathi Rai, Shoba De and so on

Basically coz they are vulgar and irritating

Hmmm

Yeah, I know..... its been some time.. and I've had no inclination to post anything....
I'm playing "The Flower of Carnage" for the tenth time today! Lyrics Here! This is one great album. As a matter of fact, I downloaded the soundtracks of Kill Bill(Both Volumes), Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction.

Other songs that have been playing over and over on my ipod are- Pink Moon and It's a Mad world! Ain't Gonna Lose you isn't too shabby either.

Dylan is coming up with his next album! I started listening to some of his archived radio shows the other day. I don't know what to make of the songs. Would it be blasphemy if I said I didn't care about any of them? To be completely truthful, I'd rather listen to Bobby Dylan singing! Dylan is not a great host either. Perfunctory

Did I tell you I'm having a second crack at Gaddis' "The Recognitions"? I love the challenge the book affords. Although, it really wears you down after a while. Anyway, hopefully I will finish it this time. 300 down 500 more pages to go!

Meanwhile, I did try to distract myself with Fantasy viz Sean Russell.(Insert appropriate cocktail metaphor, here) Anyway, it was a bad idea. So there......

I managed to catch "The Watchmen" a couple of weeks back. It was long winded but faithful to the original. With all due respect to Moore, my hair doesn't stand on its end when I hear anything about the comic... It is self important preachy and long winded. Not a bad thing in itself. But, it takes itself so seriously that it just didn't do it for me. In fact, the best portions in the comic, in my opinion, were the interludes featuring the Black Freighter and that was cut off from the movie... I didn't like the Killing Joke and never finished From Hell. I loved V for Vendetta, though. Don't tell anyone, but, I liked that movie! In fact the scene in which Evie is released from prison by V and she walks to the balcony where it is raining and lifts her arms in pure joy, gives me a lump in my throat every time I see it!

Anyway that's that for now! I will come up with something next week!