Funny.

Alright, this is funny. This is a mail that I'd sent to Divey in reply to some random email that she'd sent about two years ago. She'd sent all our email ids to a mailing group. Although my mail was completely uncalled for, well, it is one of the most eloquent pieces I've ever written! I'm pretty sure I was reading Thomas Pynchon at that time. It should've been"The Crying of Lot 49 ", because I started "Gravity's rainbow" much later. The Acronym(which I'm inordinately proud of)is quintessentially Pynchonian a la W.A.S.T.E.(We Await Silent Tristero's Empire) and N.E.V.E.R.(National Endowment for Video Education and Rehabilitation). Also, notice the disclaimer on my subject line. Yup, I'm that scared of that lady! Of course, I made a few grammatical corrections in this version. I have included Divey's reply as well.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

from Divey
to hari
date Tue, Dec 30, 2008 at 11:43 AM
subject FW: Ids- dont loose your temper... chumma than....tension agatha...
pls...pls cheap shot n I am abitch but.... couldnt resist:(


I can’t find my sent mail tho’ – I wanted to be a duchess not a mere baroness!

Regards,
Divey


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Hari Prasad Srinivasan
Sent: Wednesday, August 16, 2006 7:39 AM
To: Divey
Subject: RE: Ids- dont loose your temper... chumma than....tension agatha... pls...pls cheap shot n I am a bitch but.... couldnt resist:(



Divey,



I henceforth name you the Baroness of Indiscriminating-networks. Swear upon all that you hold dear, that you will remain committed to ‘who cares I need only the Contacts’ Code of honor and that you will endeavor to unflinchingly build the highest number of useless contacts with the most irrelevant of people thereby fulfilling the quest of the underground movement that you belong to –‘GOOSES’ (Group of Omniscient and Omnipotent and Securely Enmeshed Superhumans). Baroness Divey the world is now yours to serve…. :D…



Ps:and you’ve opened us up to a lot of uninvited, idiotic forwards that are definitely going to be in bad taste




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New Year's eve- Down the years

I thought it'd be kinda fun to list down where I was on New Year's eve in the recent past. Yeah, I know. I've done nothing special over the years. This list probably illustrates why I'm a complete loser.... sigh.....

31st Dec 2007- In Bangalore, BTM- Thairu's place. GB and Aparna had come. They were sharing a bottle of wine. As for me, I was working. I was supporting the year end for HDS! There was a major issue in autoinvoice. By the time the issue got resolved it was 2 am. Apart from that, It was an Annus Miraculous. I went abroad for the very first time. London. It was an awesome experience living in the place I'd read so much about! I travelled to Poland in November that year. That was my first taste of a white winter! I went house hunting for Divey and Suresh some time in July and found a fab house for them(I did all the talking). They still owes me a big treat for that! Sriram kicked me out of my room some time in March(No, Sriram, I'm never letting this go). I went on that fiasco of a trip to Mysore with Khanna, Sriram, Divey and Suresh sometime in November. We had trouble in just about every leg of the Journey. But what fun it was! The Bike trip to Ooty with Sriram was another unforgettable event! It was an awesome trip! On the whole, it was a good Year

31st Dec 2006- Bangalore again.. I was going through a phase then...... Another instance of my infamous mood swings! I was in Bangalore, Sriram's place. All alone! I think I was reading "The mysterious flame of Queen Loana", but I'm not sure... That week marked the end of a year after Bombay and TCS. I'd also been in Infosys for a year. Things were going great professionally. Personally, well, it could've been worse, I suppose. Divey & Suresh, Janani & Raman and Angie & Varun tied the knot that year. I've been close to all of them at one point of time or the other. So it was fun and a little scary. I mean all these guys were my classmates! An interesting tidbit- I started sporting the French Beard regularly from that year

31st Dec 2005- Mumbai! This was probably my best New Year's Eve. I spent the whole evening with Santosh and Lopa. It was great fun. At the stroke of 12 we were sitting in the Cafe Coffee day near VT. If I remember right, Lopa and I had lunch with Vasudha and that Sardar( Can't remember his name) along with Lopa's other friend and her boyfriend(What was I doing there? No Clue!). We had food at Howrah. After seeing off the others, Lopa and I headed off to Marine drive where we hooked up with Santhosh. We spent the whole evening Bitching, like we always do! With that start, no wonder 2006 turned out to be fantastic. Between Plays at Bombay, TCS training, Farewell parties, long walks over-crowded trains, CFA and the British Council, I came to the end of the year feeling completely enriched by the experience.

31st Dec 2004- I just can't remember where I was that year. Probably in Trichy. We were all placed by then. We must've had a party. Not sure. Sriram Just confirmed that we had a Kalai Kom Party. I must've spent the eve in the ditch opposite the LH, chatting with Janani :D. I'd spent the summer before in Delhi at Murali mama's place. Delhi was a completely different experience altogether. Got to know my cousins a little better. Although, the fact that I was morbidly at a loss most times did not help. I must've looked and sounded like a total bumpkin. But then I probably still do. I got to know Jan and Sriram and Lopa and Suresh & Divey a lot better that year. When Sriram and I got placed in the same company, wow, we simply let loose. Those 4 months after our placements are probably up there among the best times I've had so far in my life. All my friends were happy with their jobs. Half of them had found their future spouses at BIM by then. That was a Good Year too!

31st Dec 2003- Trichy again. First year at BIM. First time in a Hostel. Made some really good friends. I don't remember anything about that new Year's eve either! Again, Sriram claims his Kalai Kom organized something. Although like all of their parties it must've been extremely forgettable. . Anyway, I discovered Bobby Dylan, the Doors, my very first Crush, and Dhabas that year!

31st Dec 2002- Ranipet, at home. Stayed up all night watching those godawful TV programs. I was in the final year of Engineering. Although I had a great score in GRE, I could not apply. Tanked Machine Bloody Design, I believe, unfairly. I should have made atleast 70 in that paper. A re-examination put my score at 44, an increase of 20%, which was 1 mark below the minimum required. Anyway, I wouldn't be where I am if not for all the strange stuff that happened in that watershed year! I'd probably be making double of what I'm now!

31st Dec 2001- Ranipet, at home. Less than 3 months after the 9/11 blasts. I don't think the world was ready to celebrate, yet. I was in my 3rd year. I'd spent most of the time either in the College canteen or the library desperately eyeing girls that year. Although I did attend classes occasionally. I somehow managed to maintain an average of 75% attendance(The minimum)over my four years at VIT. We used to catch the 10D Bus, which was packed tighter than a can of Sardines, just to catch a fleeting glimpse of the pretty girls from Auxillium- A girls-only college run by catholic nuns.Oh, and we were late to class every bloody day! I wrote bad poetry and read really bad books. Coincidentally, that was the year I discovered Tolkein and Fantasy!Minnale was released that year. Almost the whole mechanical engg class was there! what Fun!

31st Dec 2000- Ranipet, at home.

I never imagined that that would be the last time, ever. If I had, maybe, I would've done things differently. Every time I think about that weekend, I come up with so many things I could've done differently in the auto, on the train, there and then later back on the bus. I should have done the seeing off bit too. Or, maybe it was just too late.

I used to pride my self on my lack of regrets. But, that was a long time ago. I have so many now, precious, like prayer beads worn down with decades of use. Familiar, comforting, every one seared with so much yet bearing the traces of so little.... My memories have faded completely. Even the photos look unfamiliar and reminiscence simply brings me to a dark, opaque Wall. I can not call forth those myriad expressions or the soft flat voice even in the recesses of my mind. All I have are regrets- my own cracked and distorted reflections!

The Greatest movie ending ever

Does it Matter?

Well, this is an excellent article on the analysis of the traditional Christian arguments for the existence of God. Leaving, germane questions regarding the definition of God and the validity of using the traditional Judeo-Christian model aside, my question as the title of this blog might indicate, does the existence of God or Evolution really matter?

Consider this, first of all most of us know for a fact that we are never going to see God. Sure, we are hopeful that our righteous actions might one day bring us closer to God, but hoping is not the same as believeing it'll come true. Most of us don't believe we will even be able to feel the presence if god

Second, how much of our actions as the modern man is truly because there is a God watching over our shoulder?There are extreme circumstances, sure but by and large, is it not reasonable to assume that most of our actions are governed by what our conscience(read Social onditioning) dictates and the fear of getting caught.

Thirdly, one might say that there are certain people who would take advantage of others' superstitions. But, come on, think about it, does a con man need God to cheat. If it's not God, it's the invisible hand of the market or Aliens descending from outer space.

Yeah, so people spend too much time and money chasing after salvation. I say it's better than looking for consolation in a pub or spending eons in front of the Idiotbox!

Yes, before you ask me, the Terrorist Jehad is more a product of Socio-economic forces than any serious religious dogma.

Most of the atheists that I've had a chance to listen to talk about the need to know the truth and scoff at self delusion. If you want my opinion, the truth along with wit is one of the most overhyped commodities around. Do you want reality in all its manifold misery? What is it alll really about, when all our actions are as drops in this ocean of chaos and randomness(Even if we assume the existence of God!). Is life all about making the best of what you have and aim for the stars when you know the stars are just holes in the blanket and reaching there would only put you at level with million others struggling to reach the next hole over and over again? Not me, thank you. I believe life is all about trying to make yourself as happy as you can be given the circumstances. No point trying to break your back, simply relax and enjoy. Just Show me the way to the Buffet and Plug me in to the Matrix. If religion is the opiate of the masses, Can I get another puff?

Ah ha!

These were Sir Geoffrey Boycott's comments on India before the Aussie rout...... Suck it Geoffrey... England will always be a very mediocre tourist... haha...hahaha... hahahahahaha... the right way to analyze this series would have been to compare the spinners of England and the Windies... Expecting Harmison, with the length he bowls is pure wishful thinking..... muhahahahahahahaha...


Harmison can blow away India's fading greats
A tour of India is traditionally considered one of the toughest assignments in the global calendar.

By Geoffrey BoycottLast Updated: 12:08AM BST 03 Oct 2008

Awesome alliance: England's quick bowlers, led by Andrew Flintoff and Steve Harmison can take advantage of India's ageing battle line-up
Yet I believe it would be a mistake for England to go out there next month with the aim of scrapping their way to a draw. This Indian team are in flux. They can be beaten if you go hard at them. And this is as good a time as any to try.
India’s new chairman of selectors, Kris Srikkanth, faces a huge quandary. The great Indian batsmen are long in the tooth and approaching the end of their careers. Some of them are desperate to prolong their international lifespans, not just because they love the game but probably because of the endorsement deals available. But none of them are the force they once were.
Think of that period in the early part of this decade when Sachin Tendulkar, Rahul Dravid, VVS Laxman and Sourav Ganguly reached their peak together. Shane Warne went to India three times and averaged over 40. They just batted him out of the game.
Which is very different to what we saw this summer, when the Sri Lankan spinners, Muttiah Muralitharan and Ajantha Mendis, got on top of the Indian batsmen. That series, which Sri Lanka won 2-1, will have had a major effect on their confidence.
There is much debate and soul-searching in India over who should play in the series against Australia, which starts next week. It is easy to say that the time has come for youth. But is anyone sure that the youngsters are good enough to take over? Or do the 'big four’ have one last hurrah left in them?
Tendulkar has so many miles on the clock that he picks up injuries all the time. Dravid, Ganguly and Laxman have been left out of the one-dayers for over a year now. It’s the natural progression of life: one-day cricket is a young man’s game. But if you look at the replacements, they’re not that special. Gautam Gambhir and Wasim Jaffer are probably the best of the next generation. Yuvraj Singh has been tried so often and found wanting in Test cricket. One possible scenario is that the experienced players are given a final chance in this series, only to be cast into outer darkness if they fail. And that could play into England’s hands.
Kevin Pietersen must tell his quick bowlers to go after Virender Sehwag, who so often gets India off to a flier. Sehwag scores fast and lifts the whole spirit of the team when he is firing. England have to get up his nose. Don’t try to bounce him out, because Indian pitches give batsmen more time to play the hook shot, but get the ball into his ribs. Get him tucked up and in a tangle. The key is to deny him the room to play shots.
The pace of Andrew Flintoff and Steve Harmison will be England’s biggest weapon, because the senior batsmen should all be vulnerable early on to quality fast bowling. OK, the pitches won’t give you much, so you have to be precise and accurate. But the way England have been playing since Pietersen became captain, they’ve got to think positive and believe that they can bowl India out.
The new ball is the key for Pietersen. England must make early inroads because their spin attack won’t be able to match Harbhajan Singh and Anil Kumble. Those guys are a real handful, match-winners on a turning surface. But if England can pull off a series win in India — something they haven’t managed since the mid-1980s – it will put a real marker down for next summer’s Ashes.

Poetry Picks-II - Sonnet XVII

Feeling a little heavy today...... somewhere in the pit of my stomach... need... good... poetryyyy..... Neruda comes to the rescue..... This is a decent translation from Spanish..... Will I ever feel anything remotely akin to what he writes about?


I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way
than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep

This is supposedly better in Spanish, so if you know the language, Knock yourself out

No te amo como si fueras rosa de sal, topacio
o flecha de claveles que propagan el fuego:
te amo como se aman ciertas cosas oscuras,
secretamente, entre la sombra y el alma.

Te amo como la planta que no florece y lleva
dentro de sí, escondida, la luz de aquellas flores,
y gracias a tu amor vive oscuro en mi cuerpo
el apretado aroma que ascendió de la tierra.

Te amo sin saber cómo, ni cuándo, ni de dónde,
te amo directamente sin problemas ni orgullo:
así te amo porque no sé amar de otra manera,

sino así de este modo en que no soy ni eres,
tan cerca que tu mano sobre mi pecho es mía,
tan cerca que se cierran tus ojos con mi sueño

Notable books of 2008

The NYtimes has come up with the list of the 100 Notable books of 2008.Here is the list of the books I'll be reading. I had to pare it down to seven due to severe constraints on the purse.

1. Atmospheric Disturbances
2. Netherland
3. The Sacred book of the werewolf
4. 2666
5. Bass Cathedral.
6. Dear American Airlines
7. The Lazarus Project

A Scary Glimpse of things to come....

and so it starts

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Cities/Man_applauds_shoe-ing_of_Bush_held/articleshow/3849038.cms

My Tarot Card- A little uncanny, no?

The Hermit

Prudence, Caution, Deliberation.

The Hermit points to all things hidden, such as knowledge and inspiration,hidden enemies. The illumination is from within, and retirement from participation in current events.

The Hermit is a card of introspection, analysis and, well, virginity. You do not desire to socialize; the card indicates, instead, a desire for peace and solitude. You prefer to take the time to think, organize, ruminate, take stock. There may be feelings of frustration and discontent but these feelings eventually lead to enlightenment, illumination, clarity.

The Hermit represents a wise, inspirational person, friend, teacher, therapist. This a person who can shine a light on things that were previously mysterious and confusing.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

The story of my embarassing Haircut!

It’s a big pain living in a country like the US where you absolutely need a car, atleast in the first few days before you get a license. (The pain I mean, not the car. ‘coz it’d make no sense otherwise) It is agony if you are as lazy as I am. I mean, going out and grabbing something you like for a quick bite itself is such a problem! Adding on to this is the fact that the temperature in this horrid hellhole is subzero even during the daytimes and when it rains here it’s as bad as a urinary infection. As constantly wet and as irritatingly painful! Anyway, the weather put me off so much that I had deferred getting a hair cut just about indefinitely. One of the major reasons I’m thankful for being a guy is the fact that I do not have to spend too much time and effort on my appearance. I could get away with looking a little unkempt (the fact that it sort of props up my self-esteem doesn’t hurt). Hell, it even added to this act of a nerd that I think I play really well. But then after a month and a half without a haircut, notwithstanding the clumps of hair that I leave on the bathtub everyday and my terrible attempts at reducing the irritation with a pair of scissors, it just becomes too much. After putting off the inescapable for about a couple of weeks more, I got up on Saturday completely fed up with all the hair falling over my ears and decided to get rid of it. I‘d just got out of bed. It looked like a wonderful day. But I refused to take any risks and look at the temperature that is normally displayed on the desktop of my Laptop, (God, I’ve always wanted to say that. Anyway…) and Google mapped the hair dressers around my place. There was a “Supercuts” a mile away. I decided to go there. I dragged on a pair of Jeans and didn’t bother to change my Tshirt. It was half past eleven. I got in to my mud caked Nike and walked out.
I hate it how you don’t have pavements on most of these roads. If you can have grass embankments on the side of the road, why not have a walkway there, huh? Most of the grass is totally dried up anyway. I walked the one mile ignoring a couple of very prominent “don’t walk on the grass” signs and reached the place a Breathless and Sweaty. I opened the door and… well, where I come from we have middle aged, balding men with a shiny pate and an oily smile, so it was shocking to see two young beautiful women plying their scissors. A person’s hair is one of the most private things about him. Especially for a guy who doesn’t spend too much time with boring overhyped concepts like Hygiene. Hell, my idea of maintenance is shampoo everyday and damn the consequences. Show me one guy who isn’t sensitive about his bald patch and I will show you the Buddha. That aside, considering that I can count the number of women I have shaken hands with, in one hand and the fact that I’m a socially and sexually repressed 28 year old South Indian Virgin, even the thought of having a pretty young girl come anywhere near my early morning hair is Mortifying
Anyway, I was sweaty, looked like a tramp and my shirt should have been washed a month ago and looked it. Cursing myself and my perennially bad luck, I huddled myself in one of the corners with my jacket on and oblivious of the heat. Desperate for something to distract myself, I grabbed at the magazine nearest to me, which turned out to be a Cosmo. I replaced that as soon as I realized what I was holding and glanced around sheepishly. The guy next to me glared at me openly and dragged his kid from under my foot. One of the ladies came to the front desk and called out to me. She had one look at my hair and she said” this must be your first time here, sir. Please give me your phone number and first name”. I mumbled my phone number and spelt out my name. She left the “R”. So, I corrected her, slowly. “You will have to wait fifteen minutes. Is that okay?” she asked me. Did I detect a note of Hope in that? I’d come this far, I was not about to do this again tomorrow.”Yes”, I said, teeth clenched. Was that disappointment on her face? I got back to my corner and sat down and went back to my staring at nowhere, when this absolutely fabulous creature walks in. Black hair, with wide, full, red lips and honey colored skin. My god she was beautiful. She dumped her bag on one of the seats and removed her coat. Oh my god…. She was the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen and she is going to see me in this condition. I fervently prayed to all the gods that I shouldn’t be subjected to the humiliation of having to have my hair cut by her. The other lady, who spoke to me before seemed content to endlessly, cut the hair of a four year old. Damn it she was going to drag it long enough so that I had to go the new girl. Sure enough, the new girl walks up to the waiting area and calls for the next person. I jump up, cursing my involuntary reaction and the malicious Gods. I awkwardly get out of my Jacket almost knocking out the guy next to me. Next thing I knew, I was sitting on the chair and the lady was murmuring something urgently to me. I realized that I still had my glasses on. I pulled out my most embarrassed grin and tucked the specs in my shirt pocket. “How do you want your hair?” she asked.” As short as you can make it”, I stammered in reply. Silence. After a few minutes she held up a clump of hair and asked,” is this short enough”. Too embarrassed to wear my glasses and confirm, I simply grunted yes and went back to trying to avoid looking at her (In vain…She was hot)I somehow got through the rest of the hair cut and returned back home, without making too much of a fool of myself. I trudged back home after a round if shopping at Giants where I had this weird feeling that everybody was looking at me strangely. I got back home and my roommate had a welcoming grin on his face. “Super Cuts, huh?” he asked. “Yeah”. I got my towel from the bedroom and walked in to the bathroom. I Switched on the lights and looked at myself in the mirror and “oh My God….”